Goodbye Nick
by Niff-Fever-Forever
Summary: Nick and Jeff were together, until Jeff started to lie about self harming. One shot. Sorry, I'm really bad at Summaries... Also TRIGGER WARNING. Major trigger warning. And if you don't like Niff Angst then you probably shouldn't read.
1. Chapter 1

Jeff's day had started out okay, but by lunch it was just down right terrible. He was fighting with his teachers, fighting with his fellow Warblers. Nothing was going right for him. So he decided when he got home he would pull out his old friend razor and try to take the edge off for awhile.

That's exactly what he did. He was excited to hear that Nick wouldn't be back in their room for a couple hours. Jeff hadn't been alone and able to cut for over a week and it was starting to really get to him. He could feel his arm itching to be cut and see no new scars and it was bugging him. He had no clue how he had made it this long. Sure since he had made it over a week, he could try to quit, but he would miss it too much.

When he walked in his room he got straight to work. He dropped his bag on his bed and walked to the bathroom to take out his box he kept hidden under the sink. He lifted the lid in front of the mirror and smiled as he saw all his blades, safety pins, and gauze. Everything he had depended on for years, and still does. He picked up his favoured blade and set the box on the counter. He took a step back and slid against the wall until his reached the floor.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw that he hadn't closed the washroom door. He made quick work at getting it closed and returning to the position he was previously in. He moved the blade between his fingers and actually started to debate on whether or not this was a good idea. He shook his head as if to erase the thought and put the cool blade against his wrist, not putting pressure, just setting it there.

He sighed in content and pushed the blade down with just enough pressure to start to draw blood. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed this. Jeff smiled and dragged the blade across his skin, leaving a trail of crimson behind. When he pulled the blade out, he felt his phone vibrate. He didn't think anything of it though since he was so busy. He left his phone in his pocket, letting it vibrate twice more, and drew another line across his wrist.

After about half an hour, Jeff had 5 new lines in total, and probably about 8 texts. He had placed a little towel under his arm to let it catch any of the dripping blood, but it had turned almost completely red. He leaned his head back against the wall and sighed. When he felt his phone vibrate for the tenth time, he had enough. He took it out and saw all the messages were from Nick, the most recent saying that he was on his way to the room.

Jeff's eyes widened in horror and he quickly stood, with difficulty, and moved to the sink to rinse his arm off. He turned on the water and started to move it across his skin when he heard the door to the room open. "Jeff?" he heard being called.

Jeff's eyes widened and he bit his lip, "Yeah, Nicky?" Jeff couldn't hear what Nick was doing, but he was worried he was going to come in.

"You okay? I've been trying to talk to you for almost an hour."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute, okay?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna put on The Avengers."

"Okay." Jeff called. He finished rinsing his arm and had already begun wrapping it in gauze. When he finished with the gauze he looked in the mirror for a second to recompose himself, missing the drop of blood that somehow got on his neck. He walked out of the room to see Nick sitting on his bed, already into the movie with Red Vines. "Hey, Nicky." he said as he walked to his own bed and sat down.

"Hey, Jeffy." he said as he reached for another Red Vine and stuffed it in his mouth."Red Vine?" he asked while holding a piece of licorice across the room.

"Why not." he smiled and reached for the candy. Nick turned and smiled at him. His smile dropped slowly when he saw the scarlet on his neck. "Jeff, what's on your neck?"

Jeff put the candy in his mouth and moved his hand to his neck and pulled it away to see what Nick was talking about. When he saw crimson across his fingertips, he froze with his eyes wide. "What's on your neck, Jeff?" Nick repeated while sitting up on his bed.

When Jeff still sat quiet Nick stood up and moved to in front of him and reached for Jeff's hand. Jeff tried to pull away but he knew Nick was stronger than him and he would just end up hurting himself more if he tried to get away. Nick lifted Jeff's sleeve to his elbow and gasped at the already blood soaked gauze. "Jeff." he said breathlessly. He looked up at Jeff with tears already threatening to fall. "Why, Jeff?"

Jeff couldn't look up at Nick. It would pain him too much to. Instead he kept his gaze on the blood stained gauze. "I'm sorry, Nick." was all he said.

Nick dropped Jeff's arm and moved to beside his bed. "Jeff, you've told me you're sorry, dozens of times. I'm tired of your apologies but nothing more."

Jeff stared at his arm and moved to pull his sleeve down."What are you saying, Nicky?"

"I'm saying I'm done, Jeff." Nick was tired. Tired of Jeff's random bursts of anger, tired of him making new scars, tired from all the stress Jeff was causing him. All in all, he was tired of Jeff. "I'm not your Nicky anymore."

"What?" Jeff's voice broke as he raised his head. Why was Nick saying this? Jeff couldn't believe he was hearing it. "Nicky, I'm sorry. Please don't do this." a tear made it's way down Jeff's cheek.

"I'm not your Nicky, Jeff. So stop calling me that. I'm gonna talk to Wes tomorrow. See if I can bunk with him for a while and then you can be here." Nick walked to his wardrobe and started to pull his blazers out and drop them on his bed.

Jeff stood up and walked to behind Nick, "No Nick, you don't mean that. You need to stay here. I need you-"

"Apparently not as much as you need that!" he interrupted while pointing in the direction of Jeff's forearm. "I'm tired of this, Jeff. You promised me you would stop, but look! Your arm has red gauze on it. I don't need to look under it to know what that means!"

Jeff started to sob, unable to hold back. He moved a hand to Nick's shoulder, "please don't do this, Nick. Please, I'm begging you." Nick shook his shoulder to make Jeff let go.

"No, Jeff. I'm done. I'm going to Blaine and Kurt's tonight since they're just next door and then I'll probably stay with Wes' after that." Jeff went back to his bed and sat down with his head in his hands. They were in silence as Nick worked on packing and Jeff sat there sobbing.

When Nick was done, he put his bag over his shoulder and moved to beside Jeff. He placed a hand on his shoulder, "Goodbye, Jeff."

Jeff put his hand over top of Nick's and leaned his head against it. "I'm sorry." Nick pulled away and moved to the door. The door opened and closed, "goodbye, Nick."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, so I've decided to add another chapter (and once you reach the end you will see there will actually be another chapter after this one). I got a review asking about another chapter and it inspired me so thank **Fluffy9988 **for me writing these next few chapters.  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, sadly.**

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Nickwalked down the hall until he reached Blaine and Kurt's room. He stood in front of it hesitantly for a moment before knocking once. He heard noise from inside and soon the door opened to reveal a disheveled looking Kurt. "Nick? What are you doing here?"

Nick looked to his hands gripping the bag beside him and bit his lip before a tear could fall. "Me and Jeff sort of had a fight."

Kurt looked to the floor, "I'm sorry, Nick. Come on in." The chestnut haired boy backed up from the door to give nick access to the room. Nick walked over to the chair beside the desk and sat down while placing his bag in from of him. He looked to Blaine and sent an apologetic look. "Sorry for crashing."

Blaine shook his head. "There's no need for you to apologize. I heard what happened, I'm sorry. Do you mind if I ask what you fought about?" Kurt had already taken a seat beside Blaine on their bed and taken his hand. Nick watched their actions and could only wish Jeff was here so he could do the same before remembering they're done. No more Nicky and Jeffy, no more agents 3 and agents 6, no more staying up late to make time to spend together. There is no more together between the two and Nick had decided that.

Nick couldn't stop the tears from coming any longer, he put his head in his hands and let them pour down his cheeks freely.

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The blonde sat on his bed silently as he stared at where Nick had just stood. He couldn't believe he was gone. And it was all his fault. He couldn't do anything right. Nick left him for a reason, and that reason was because he isn't wanted. Nobody would want such a screw up like him.

Jeff put his head in his hands as he tried to fight the urge to go back to the box, but why should he? He has nothing to fight for anymore. Nobody needs him, nobody loves him, nobody _wants_ him.

That's when the idea sparked in his kind. _What if I was gone?_ Jeff looked up to door again as another tear fell. He stood from the bed and walked towards the bathroom, his face clean of all emotion except the tears still slowly falling.

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Blaine moved to in front of Nick as he saw him start to break down, "hey. Nick it's not your fault. Whatever happened you guys can make it through."

Nick looked up to Blaine with eyes already swollen, "but it is my fault. I ended it." Blaine and Kurt's eyes went wide as Nick continued. "I broke up with Jeff. H-He cut again. Tonight. I just couldn't stand to see him doing this to himself."

Kurt stood up quickly, "Wait, you left Jeff alone. After you know he just cut again?"

Nick looked up to the tall boy as terror formed in his eyes. "Oh my god."

* * *

Jeff already had his box of tools out and everything set up. He didn't bother closing the door since Nick would most definitely not be coming back tonight, I mean, why would he? He broke up with Jeff, he obviously wants nothing to do with him anymore.

He rolled up his sleeves and peeled off the gauze that was almost all red and threw it in the trash. Jeff grabbed the blade he knew was the dullest to make him give himself more pain and quickly set to work on his forearm.

As soon as the metal touched his skin he felt calm. All the stress was gone and he wished he could stay like this forever. He drew another line beside all the others and repeated the process a couple more times. He felt tears starting to form as he realized how much he depended on this and how much easier life would be without him. He already lost Nick, there's nothing left for him to lose. Nick was his life, with him gone, it would only make sense for him to physically be gone too.

He moved away from the already dozen lines he drew and put the metal above his veins at his wrist. He pushed down lightly at first before adding more pressure making a deep crimson trail form behind the metal.

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Nick stood from his chair and moved to the door before anyone knew what was happening. _Oh god, what did I do? He could be gone already. Why am I so stupid!_ Nick scolded himself as he made his way back to his and Jeff's room. He realized then as he reached the door he didn't have his keys.

"Fuck!" He exclaimed as he banged on the door with his fist, knowing Jeff wouldn't answer but was too angered at himself. Blaine and Kurt showed up behind him and looked from each other then to Nick. "Don't be mad." Blaine said as he pulled his keys out of his pocket and found the copy he had made of Nick and Jeff's room a couple months ago.

Nick looked to Blaine with his mouth slightly parted in surprise. "Oh god I could kiss you right now Anderson."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at Nick and chuckled slightly when he realized he was kidding. Blaine unlocked the door and stepped aside to let the brunette through.

"Jeff!" Nick yelled as he moved past Blaine and towards where the blonde would be. He stopped for a moment when he saw him lying on the ground with blood coming from both his wrists. He composed himself quickly and grabbed the first piece of cloth he saw and moved to soak up some of the blood from his wrists.

Jeff flickered his eyes open for a moment, already starting to fade, to see Nick in front of him. "Nicky." He said breathlessly.

Nick pulled Jeff closer and started to cry. "Jeffy, I'm sorry." Blaine pulled out his phone and called for an ambulance to come to Dalton as Kurt ran down the hall to try and get anyone for some help.

Jeff smiled sadly and coughed. "I love you N-Nick."

The brunette shook his head, not allowing for this to be the end. "No, don't. You're not going anywhere." Nick grabbed some of the gauze from in the box and wrapped it around Jeff's wrist to attempt at saving him but knowing it would do no good, he's already lost so much blood.

Blaine left the room as tears started to overwhelm him and sighed from the little relief he got from the faint sirens he heard from outside. After a minute or two a paramedic showed up beside him and Blaine pointed to the room. The paramedic followed the direction and made his way towards Jeff and Nick, hearing the last part of what sounded like a goodbye.

He pulled Nick away from Jeff so he could get a look at him and closed his eyes for a moment to recollect his thoughts. Nick wiped away some of his tears and looked to the man in the suit hopefully, "is he gonna be okay?"

The paramedic looked to the boy for a moment and said nothing, hoping that would get his point across. Nick let out a sob and leaned against the door to slide to the ground beside the blonde. "Oh god." He put his head in his hands as a few more tears fell down his cheeks. He looked up for a moment and saw Jeff being rolled away on a gurney. He stood up with a sniffle and followed the men out of the room.

Blaine was standing with Kurt in the hall and grabbed Nick's hand to stop him from following the paramedics any farther. "Hey, me and Kurt are going to drive there together, come with us." Nick started to shake his head and tried to get out of the hazel eyed boy's grasp but he was persistent. Nick stopped struggling and nodded his head slowly, "Okay. Fine, but now. Let's leave now." Blaine and Kurt agreed right away and they made their way down the hall towards the parking lot, Kurt wondering how Nick is possibly still standing from what he just saw, Blaine thinking about if the roles were reversed and Kurt was the one on his way to the hospital, and Nick thinking about how he could have been so careless to leave Jeff alone. None of them knew what was waiting for them at the hospital, none of them were sure they wanted to know what would be waiting for them.

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**Please review, I love anyone that takes time from their day to read what I have written. You are all amazing and if I could I would send you each a basket full of your favourite baked good. (Except for muffins... Those things are deadly...[long story xD])**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to everyone who has read and/or reviewed! I love you all so muchhhh.**

**Now I've decided to make this so called oneshot into multiple chapters. I already have ideas for another chapter after this one and I sort of leave it on a bit of an edge so I know for sure I will be adding another if not more after that.**

**Also I am in school and it has been the weekend which is why I've been able to add so much these past few days, I'm sad to say that this will change and I probably won't get a chance to add again until Thursday or Friday. I will try to add before then but it won't probably happen until then.**

**I did not get a chance to proof read this so for any/all the typos and mistakes I'M SORRY.**

**Now that I have made a huge Author's Note, Enjoy 3**

**Disclaimer: Ownage of these wonderful characters is not mine**

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Nick couldn't sit still at all on the way to the hospital. When they finally reached it he wasted no time in unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car. He left Blaine and Kurt at the vehicle as he ran to the door and rushed to the desk to find where the blonde would be.

Kurt and Blaine walked in to hear the end of the conversation, which was Nick yelling "I don't care! I need to see him!" The two teens shared a look and rushed to the distressed boy's side to calm him.

Blaine grabbed Nick's arm and pulled him away from the desk before he could yell again, "Hey. It's okay, Nick-"

"No! It's not okay, Blaine! He can't die. He can't." Nick interrupted Blaine and tried to get out of his grasp but the curly haired boy wouldn't let go.

"Nick, just calm down. Just sit with Kurt, I will figure out what's going on." Blaine moved Kurt to beside Nick so he couldn't get away then left them to go to the desk. He smiled at the woman behind the desk before figuring out what was going on with Jeff.

Kurt held onto Nick's hand and led him to a chair to sit down. "Nick it's okay. You don't know what is going to happen,"

"Neither do you!" Nick interjected and pulled his hand out of Kurt's. He moved to a chair and slouched down, placing his head in his hands. Kurt stood stunned for a moment before collecting himself and moving to the chair beside Nick. "I'm sorry." Nick mumbled.

Kurt sighed and placed a hand on Nick's shoulder, "It's okay, I should be apologizing. I'm positive I would be freaking out too if I were in this situation. To be honest I don't know how you've been holding up so well."

Nick looked up at Kurt and shook his head slowly, "I don't either." He leaned his head against the wall behind him to look at the ceiling. "I just don't want to think of this. I caused this. If I were to have stayed or even just thought this through, him and I could be back at Dalton trying to figure out what to do but no. I can't believe I did this to him."

Kurt shook his head and turned to face him, "Don't you dare think you did this. It's not your fault, Nick."

"But it is, Kurt." Nick's voice broke as a couple tears escaped. "I broke up with him, I left him alone when I knew what was going through his mind, I made him go over the edge. I could have saved him but instead I started being selfish and just thinking for myself."

Blaine walked over and stood in front of Nick making him look towards the boy. "So they're working on him." Nick moved to stand up but Blaine placed his hand on the boy's shoulder to stop him, "You can't go in yet. When they know what's going to happen, then you can go in."

Nick fell back in his chair reluctantly and sighed. "Okay." he said sadly. He started playing with his hands as he started thinking of the worst thing possible at that moment; Life without Jeff. It was miserable, to say the least, Nick was miserable and continued to blame himself for everything. He knew Jeff started this addiction before they were friends but he still blamed himself. He wished he could have been there in time to save him or better yet to have never left at all.

Blaine and Kurt started a conversation but still paid close attention to Nick as they waited for any news about the blonde teen. Nick just sat and waited while fidgeting with his hands and trying to find something to take his mind off what was happening, but it was impossible. The boy he loved tried to kill himself and he couldn't help him at all and it was killing him that he couldn't help.

When a man in a white coat with started walking towards them Nick looked up instantly trying to read anything from his emotions. He looked like he was sad, yet pleased. _Does that mean Jeff's okay? _Nick thought.

"Hi, you guys here for Jeff Sterling?" the doctor asked.

Nick stood up and nodded his head quickly as if trying to make him tell them the news faster. Blaine and Kurt stood up slowly and grabbed each other's hands for support. "Yes," Nick said, his voice cracking slightly from it being unused, "I'm his, er, friend." He looked to Kurt and Blaine then looked back to the doctor, "We are all his friends." It pained Nick to say this. He wanted nothing more than to be able to call Jeff his boyfriend again. It had only been a few hours and he knew he wouldn't be able to take it if this is how things ended.

The doctor nodded his head before taking a glance at the two teens holding hands. He smiled slightly before remembering what he was doing, "As you know your friend decided that he was done. He didn't want to be here anymore, but his heart had decided otherwise. His heart kept beating until it couldn't take it."

Nick's face fell when what the doctor said sunk in. "What?" he said with a broken heart as he sat down in his chair again. Tears were threatening to fall but the doctor wasn't done speaking.

"We fought for Jeff, and we are lucky enough that he came around." Nick looked up at the man, only hearing the last few words he had said. "We got him back and hopefully we can keep him this way. He's resting now so I think it might be best if you were to just come back tomorrow to see him."

Nick stood from his chair and pointed at the doctor, "You listen here, there is no way I am going home without Jeff." Blaine grabbed Nick's hand and pulled him back from the doctor before things got too crazy.

The man just sighed and nodded his head, "Okay, fine. Just please be gentle with him." Kurt thanked him and got the room number from him before he walked off to work on another patient.

Nick couldn't stand still he pulled out of Blaine's grasp and went down the hall to where Jeff was. He opened the door and tears started stinging at his eyes again when he saw the blonde on the bed. He looked horrible, tubes coming out of his arms, pale, his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, and all Nick wished he could do was hug him and tell him everything was going to be alright.

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Jeff woke up a few hours later, Nick sitting at his side. The blonde opened his eyes slowly to a bright white light. His first thought, _am I dead?_He squinted his eyes and turned his head to the side and saw the brunette that had changed his life. His lips parted in surprise as to what he would be doing in heaven, then his surroundings became clearer and he realized he wasn't dead, he was in a hospital room. With Nick. Nick was with him in the hospital room._ Why is he here?_ Jeff thought as he tried to remember what had happened.

Had Nick shown up? Was he the reason he's alive? Then he remembered. The goodbye, the fight, what he had done to himself, to Nick, everything. He looked to his wrists and wasn't surprised to see gauze wrapped around he lifted his arms he caught the attention of the snoozing boy.

"Jeff?" Nick called as he sat up in the worlds most uncomfortable chair to look at the blonde. He smiled when he saw Jeff was awake and seemed okay.

"N-Nic-" Jeff coughed and moved his hand to cover his mouth, that's when he realized he was handcuffed to the bed. Nick grabbed the cup of water he had gotten hours ago for Jeff and helped him have a sip of it so the blonde could speak properly. He set the cup back in it's place and looked to Jeff so happy he was alive and awake.

"Why am I handcuffed?" Jeff asked, his voice still groggy from it being unused.

Nick looked to the ground for a moment but couldn't stand keeping his gaze away from Jeff any longer, "I missed you, Jeff." he replied, not even paying attention to the blonde's question.

"Why am I handcuffed?" Jeff repeated. Yes, he missed Nick too but he couldn't understand why someone would handcuff him.

"It was kind of obvious it was a suicide attempt and the doctors, they didn't want you to try anything. They handcuffed you to try and keep you in line." Nick watched Jeff's face for any reaction but all that was shown was anger.

"They think I'm that stupid to try it here?" Jeff scoffed and let his head fall back on his pillow. "Obviously they are the stupid ones to think that."

"Jeff, don't say that. They saved your life."

Jeff lifted his head up before interrupting him, "what makes you think I wanted to be saved?"

Nick shook his head, "You don't mean that, Jeff. Why wouldn't you want to be saved? I saved you. That's what we do, we save each other."

"I never asked for you to save me." Jeff dropped his head back again to look at the ceiling, as long as he wasn't looking at Nick.

Nick had tears threatening to fall. This was not how this was supposed to go. Jeff was supposed to be happy he got to him in time to save him so they could be together again, and this time with nothing getting between them. The brunette couldn't stand to see Jeff being so not himself. "Jeff, you don't need to ask me, I know when you need to be saved."

"I didn't _want_ to be saved." Jeff said tiredly.

Nick shook his head and sat back in his chair, "Then I'm sorry, Jeff."

Jeff turned onto his side facing away from Nick before muttering "you should be."

It broked Nick's heart to see the blonde this torn down, and knowing he had partially caused this just tore him even more. But he couldn't leave Jeff, not again. He didn't know if he could trust the blonde by himself, not yet. Instead he sat in the chair while wishing things could go back to the way they were before that night.

Jeff started thinking about what he had said, did he really mean it? Had he really wanted to die? The blonde didn't know what he thought anymore. He knew he missed Nick more than anything, but he also knew Nick had broken up with him. He wanted to believe Nick wanted him back but when he started to really think about it, why would someone want him?

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**Ahh semi-cliff hanger. I'm sorry xD**

**I really only meant for this to be a oneshot and it has sorta gone wayyy past that now. **

**Reviews are the sun on a cold winter's day, making everyone feel better. I will post the next chapter soon (hopefully). Love you all and thank you for reading 3**


	4. Chapter 4

**So finally the weekend which means I've finally had time to write again :D**

**I hope everyone enjoys this, I don't really know what I think of it quite yet :/**

**Please Review and I love you all ~hearts~**

**Disclaimer: Neither Nick nor Jeff are mine (Or anything else)**

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Nick stayed by Jeff's side for the next couple days even though he could tell he was greatly unwanted. He didn't care, he needed to make sure Jeff would be okay. At one point Jeff started yelling at Nick.

"What makes you think I want you here!" Jeff yelled from where he sat on his bed.

Nick had been staying calm, at least trying to. He hasn't yelled at Jeff since what he did and he hadn't planned on yelling at him since he didn't know what Jeff might do. "Jeff, please calm down." He replied from where he stood at the end of the blondes bed.

"No, Nick. I won't settle down. I don't need you here, and I sure as hell don't want you here either."

Nick had started crying on a daily basis now that Jeff was acting like this. He didn't know what to do, and it killed him that he couldn't help the love of his life. "Jeff please stop." He said simply.

Jeff shook his head and crossed his arms that were now free of the restraints, "No, just go home Nick. Go home."

Nick had had enough, " I can't go home! You are my home, Jeffy, and you are not being yourself! When you get back to being the guy I fell in love with, then I can go home." He stalked over to the chair that sat at Jeff's bedside and slouched into it. He put his head in his hands, regret already filling him from yelling at the blonde.

"If you don't go home, I will." Jeff spoke so serious making the brunette look up from the ground with fear. "And I don't mean back at Dalton, I will go home." _and hopefully finally do something right _he thought as he looked Nick in the eye to show how true he was being.

"Jeff you can't go home. Nobody will be there to watch you." Nick spoke with refound sincerity and calmness to his tone. He couldn't let Jeff go home when he knew exactly what would be on his mind; The blade.

_That's the point_, the blonde thought. "I can do what I want. I'm 18, I'm a legal adult. If I say I want out of here they have to release me." Jeff started really thinking about what he was saying. Was this true? Was this really what he wanted? To leave Dalton, forget about Nick and all the drama between the two, and just kill himself? He wasn't sure. For the past couple days he had thought that's what he wanted but now that he actually thought about what his actions would cause he started to be hesitant.

Nick sighed as he realized Jeff was right. "If me leaving means you will stay here and will get help, then I'll go."

Nick moved to stand up but Jeff put his arms up to protest. "Woah, I never said I'd get help." The blonde raised an eyebrow before closing his eyes. Maybe getting help would be good, but he didn't know what he wanted. The only thing he knew he wanted for sure was Nick. Having the brunette in his arms again was all he could think about, other than his plans for when he finally got out of there. He couldn't stop thinking about how Nick used to smile and how his eyes would squint slightly at the first sign of a giggle or how they used to just talk all night long. Talk about anything, their grades, warbler practice, family drama, anything. As long as they were together Jeff felt calm and safe and all he wanted, no _needed_, was to have those things with Nick again.

Nick shook his head and sat back in his chair, "if I leave you have to promise me you will go to at least one session with a counselor. I want you to get better Jeffy, I miss the old bubbly, talkative, happy you."

Jeff rolled his eyes at how naive Nick was, "And do you know what was behind all that crap? This. This is me, I just finally have enough guts to show it." "This isn't you," Nick disagreed. "You are not this much of an ass. I love you Jeff, I need you. I need you to be who you truly are again."

Jeff dropped his head on his pillow to stop himself from crying, "stop." He said strongly. "I don't deserve you." He mentally scolded himself for letting that slip but didn't bother getting too worked up over it since it was true. He didn't deserve him, Nick was amazing, he had a voice like a god, and a body like one too. Some days it was like he was on top of the world but Jeff got to see behind that from the many years of friendship they had, and was he really going to throw that away because of this? Jeff couldn't hold anything in any longer. The anger, the fear, the dread, all of his emotions joined together and pushed their way through in one outlet; tears.

Nick instantly was beside the blonde as he finally had gotten him to show an emotion other than anger. He rubbed his shoulder gently and made soothing noises to try to calm Jeff but he just received more tears from the teen.

"I'm so sorry, Nicky." Jeff sobbed. He pulled Nick closer to him and squeezed him into a hug. "Please don't go. I didn't mean it, I didn't mean any of it."

Nick hugged Jeff back relieved he had finally broken his spell of depression. "I know Jeffy. It's okay."

Jeff shook his head no and pulled away from Nick to look him in the eye, "it's not okay, Nick. But it will be. Soon." He embraced the brunette again and it made him realize just how much he had missed being held in his arms.

Nick smiled at Jeff's words, so happy he was finally willing to do something other than say how much life sucked. He couldn't wait to call Kurt and Blaine but first he had to do something. He pulled away from Jeff's embrace slowly and looked him in the eye. "Jeff, will you please do me the delight of being your boyfriend again?"

Jeff smiled and nodded his head slightly before leaning in to kiss Nick softly yet filled with passion. When he pulled away and his eyes that are now regaining their joy flickered open as he smiled wider with another nod of his head. "I would love to be your boyfriend again, Nicky." Jeff looked between them as his smile turned sad. "But I don't deserve you." His voice broke as he spoke what he felt like was the truth.

Nick lifted Jeff's face by his chin and smiled at him reassuringly. "You mean the world to me, Jeff. I never should have let you go." The brunette wrapped his arms around the blonde and hugged him tightly. "Please don't leave me." He said sadly into the blonde's ear.

Jeff shook his head and placed a soft kiss to Nick's neck, "I wouldn't dream of it." He pulled away from the hug and scooted over on his bed to allow Nick some room to lie down beside him.

Nick sat on the bed and pulled Jeff close hoping he would never have to let the boy go again. He didn't know what he would have done if Jeff were to be gone. His life would be lonely and dark and he just wouldn't be the same anymore. All he could think about was how grateful he was for the blonde to be okay and them to be together again. That's what really made him happy, them being an "us" again. "I love you, Jeffy." He mumbled into Jeff's shoulder making it a little muffled.

Jeff laughed making the two boys shake a little from the action, "I love you too, Nicky." They settled in together on the bed and stayed there happily with smiles plastered to their faces. Jeff couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't right, he couldn't tell what it was but he had a feeling something bad was going to happen, and that something was going to happen soon.

* * *

A few days after Nick had made the breakthrough with Jeff he was released from the hospital. The brunette was excited for Jeff to finally be coming home and he had already gotten rid of any and all the blades he could find. As well as making sure anything that could harm the blonde boy at all was nowhere to be seen. Nick could tell he was overreacting just a little but he couldn't help it, this was Jeff's safety he was talking about and he didn't want anything to get in the way of that.

Jeff had been staring out the window the whole time as Nick drove beside him. All the blonde could think about was how much he had screwed up this time. How could he have been so stupid to attempt suicide? He didn't understand it. But he was moving past it. Jeff understood now that Nick will always be there for him no matter what he did.

Nick looked over to the blonde as he started getting worried by him being so quiet, "You okay, Jeffy?" He glanced to Jeff before keeping his gaze on the road. He could sense something was wrong with him as soon as they left the hospital, he just couldn't tell what it was.

Jeff looked to Nick and smiled sadly while nodding his head. "Yeah, I'm fine." He leaned his head against the passenger window after replying and held back from letting tears flow. He felt like such a screw up at the time being but he couldn't tell why._ Oh yeah, you can't do anything right, stupid,_ he thought to himself.

Nick didn't buy it, "Are you sure, babe? You don't look very good." He looked to his better half and felt terrible for him. He knew that he didn't feel like he was worth it, obviously since he wanted it over, but he hated knowing this and not being able to do anything about it.

Jeff mustered a smile and tried to assure Nick he was fine but failed miserably, "I'm fine, Nicky."Nick let it slide. He didn't want to fight with Jeff but he knew if he stayed on this topic there would probably be a fight.

The brunette let it go and changed the subject, "Okay, are you excited to be home?" He looked to Jeff and smiled at him before looking back to road. He knew Jeff was still staring out the window but he kept looking to him in case he would choose to gaze back.

Jeff just nodded his head slightly still leaning against the window. "Yeah, I guess." He cleared his throat and looked to his wrists. The scars would be there forever. Every day of his life he would be reminded of the stupid decision he had chose and wouldn't be able to do anything about keeping people from asking what happened or why. "What am I going to do?" Jeff said under his breath more to himself but Nick had heard him and he was definitely confused.

"What's that, babe?" Nick looked to Jeff for a moment before looking back to the road and not believing the damn traffic tonight. Jeff shook his head but Nick pressed on, "I don't know what I'm going to do." Jeff replied. The blonde teen gazed at his wrists again and bit his lip to stop any tears to fall. "I don't want people knowing, Nick, but it's not like I can hide this." he said sadly.

Nick turned down a corner and sighed, "It doesn't matter what people think, or say for that matter. Besides, we are at Dalton. It's not like people are going to bully you. And our uniforms are going to cover everything, I mean you've hidden the cutting for this long. The only people that know are me, Blaine, and Kurt. That will never change unless you want it to." The brunette pulled the car into the parking lot of the school and turned the car off before turning in his seat to look at the blonde. "Please don't worry, Jeffy. I love you and if anyone finds out or says anything I will do anything to make sure you are okay."

Jeff had turned to look at the other boy when they pulled into the parking lot and stayed looking at him when he had finished his speech. He couldn't stop the tears any longer. They streamed freely down his cheeks as he rest his head back on the headrest, "Nick I love you so much. Thank you for being here for me." The blonde leaned over and hugged Nick tightly.

Nick put a hand through Jeff's hair and smiled sadly, "I know, Jeffy. And I will never leave you alone again." He pulled away and smiled reassuringly before getting out of the car and walking to the passenger side to open the door for the blonde.

Jeff mumbled a thank you and got out of the car grabbing Nick's hand almost instantly to hold onto. He leaned against Nick and squeezed his hand tightly, "Forever?"

"And always." Nick replied softly with a smile.

* * *

**Okay so I've concluded that I have lost all ideas for where I want to have this go. I don't really want to end it here so I would like to add one more chapter so watch for that but it probably won't be added for awhile since I have no ideas :/**

**Please review if you can, love you all and thank you for reading ~hearts~**


	5. Authors Note

**I would just like to say thank you again to all of you have even taken even just a second of your time to take a glance at this. I now am going to say that I have decided that this past chapter is the last one I'm going to post for this fic. I want to thank you all again and would also like to give all of you a heads up that I am writing another fic, this one is actually being planned on being multi chaptered. **

**I love you all for using your time on reading this and I hope you liked this and I hope you will like my other fic more. I have been working on it and I hope to have it posted soon. Please keep your eyes open for it and again I love you all and thank you. ~hearts~**


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